Sunday, November 18, 2007

Stock Market Jokes

A long term investment is a short term investment that failed.
Bull Market is a random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bear Market is a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.

A stockbroker is someone who invests your money till it's all gone!

A market analyst is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today!

Momentum Investing: The fine art of buying high and selling low.
Value Investing: The art of buying low and selling lower

Q: Why did God create stock analysts ?
A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.

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